Month: January 2016

Bridge Over Troubled Waters

Posted on by greenpridefan

Ask any cricket fan, from anywhere in the world, and they all will tell you: the sound of leather on willow is one of the most poetic sounds in sport. Be it in a packed Wanderers, or just watching high school cricket on a Saturday morning, there’s a certain beauty to the sound of bat on ball. If cricket’s heartbeat made a noise, that would be it.

So what do you do when that sound rings hollow?

I swore blind that after South Africa lost the series to the poms, I would pay no attention to the dead test. I’m just too competitive to take it seriously. My fears of it being a “5-day pommy gloat fest” were realized by the Barmy Army. Those drunkards who faithfully follow England to all corners of the world, desecrating fine cricketing venues with football flags.

But the nature of an addiction is that you act on your compulsion even when you don’t really want to. That’s why it’s called a compulsion.

So I did it. I broke the promise I made to myself, and to the seven faithful readers of this blog. I submerged myself in the 4th test bubble, with all the fake headaches, illegal streaming, perpetual Cricinfo, and general excitement of a 1st test.

I call it a bubble because that was the only way I could handle it. I really do get seriously pissed off when the Proteas lose, especially to England. But as one mate kept reminding me, “A test is a test”. So I created an emotional bubble around myself to tune out the context of the game.

I allowed myself to revel in a seemingly fine performance despite the Barmy Army doing their level best to remind me that no matter the final score here, we were very much second best.

So how does someone like me, who prefers to see things in black and white (life’s much simpler that way) process these seemingly contrasting emotions? Terrific performance on the one hand, overall losers on the other.

I felt like a fraud celebrating Cook’s debut and test ton, de Kock’s brutal batting, or KG’s 13 wickets like we’d won the series. Driving home on the 4th evening listening in the car, I let rip with a series of determined fist pumps as England’s collapse commenced, and immediately turned around to see if any other drivers had seen me being so foolish.

I heard many commentators and analysts say things like “builds momentum” and “bodes well for the future” and they are absolutely spot on. The future is indeed bright and there is much to look forward to. Despite what the English media are saying, this was no eulogy for SA cricket.

I’ve also written in the past about the peaks and troughs of sport, and how at times like this I like to day-dream about future victories.  But still, that wasn’t enough. I needed to find a more visual mechanism to cling to as I start rebuilding my optimism.

And that image is a bridge.

A bridge to redemption. This win was us summoning the courage, and enduring the humiliation of the walk across with our heads held high. Similar to Queen Cercei’s walk of shame. If you know what that is, great. If not, I suggest you not Google it if you’re reading this at work.

In just over a year, we play the poms again. Four tests in England. I have that to look forward to. And for now I’m ready for the ‘one dayers’. A slightly new team, and technically a new competition. I have crossed the bridge. I only hope I’m not on a road to nowhere.

GPF

Comfort ye, My People

Posted on by greenpridefan

This was supposed to be it. That sporting aberration from Durban was finally going to be put right at the holy ground of the Wanderers.

The magnificent fight  back at Cape Town had reignited belief that we hadn’t been sucked into some time machine that was slowly but surely dragging us back to the early 90s. I had really prayed that it wasn’t so. Those early days were too fragile and I just don’t think I have the mental strength in middle age to cope.

So this was going to be it. It had to be.

And boy was I prepared. Thursday morning shortly after dropping my kids off at their respective schools, I developed a horrible headache and had to go home. A quick “not gonna make it today” note to my boss, and I was all ready. Laptop on, competent illegal stream found. Bring it on!

There really was such a sense of positivity around, and the captaincy change also had me feeling optimistic. Then he wins the toss and chose to bat.

I really should have known better. The rule is never call in sick until after the toss and you know whether you’re batting or bowling.

I’m sure it would make for a fascinating PhD dissertation (or maybe not) as to why, but I just battle to watch my team batting. It’s too stressful. Each ball could be the one that sends you into total collapse. I think part of my reticence to punish myself this way stems from those early 90s. A time when Andrew Hudson would open the batting, block 8 balls then get out. Innings after innings. That man lived off his 167 in Barbados for far too long.

About an hour later, my boss was very impressed at my miraculous recovery and sudden appearance in the office. Apparently my note had given the impression I’d be spending the next few days in the clinic. Perhaps I was a little over exuberant. Mental note for next time. Anyway, problem fixed. Some days are better off followed on Cricinfo.

Three days later and I think I probably should be in hospital. My head is pounding after being repeatedly bashed against the desk/wall/door/any random hard surface.

What I am I supposed to say now?

I confess, when I wrote all that tripe about peaks and troughs earlier I didn’t really mean it. I honestly was convinced in my heart of hearts that we were going to win the last two tests. England are losers. They always lose at football. Their rugby team gave me my most entertaining moment of 2015 at the world cup. They may win the occasional test series but every 2-3 years rest assured, the yellow ones who shall not be named, hammer them 5 – 0 and put them back in their place. They always think they’re better than they really are. The Homer Simpson of sport.

I’m not going to go into the details of it all. We all saw it, and it’s too painful anyway. I’m just going to share a few thoughts, and hopefully there will be some solace. If not, there’s always beer.

For someone who is as competitive as I am, I’m actually quite an accepting guy. I can make peace with almost any crap situation. So I accept the loss, accept the series defeat, and move on. Which brings me to the upcoming dead test.

I really really battle to get my head around this. How on earth do I, as a fan approach it? This is one area where I think the Americans have actually got their sport right. When it’s over it’s over. Move on.

Why I must be forced to watch a 5 days pommy gloat-fest I don’t now. And believe me, my compulsion will force me to do just that. What I really cannot get my head around is why people go to these games. I know the captains do their best to sound all professional and try make it competitive but we all know better. It’s like 5 days of watching the football world cup 3rd place play-off. The single biggest insult to human intelligence ever devised.

I remember watching the dead test after losing the bastards in 2009. Was in Cape Town and there were thousands of people cheering AB de Villiers sending poor Bryce McGain over every stand in the ground. ‘Whats wrong with you people??????” I screamed at the TV. “Go home, this is why we have Cricinfo.” I just don’t get it. There’s no consolation in a consolation win.

But such is the lost of a sports fan. If you take victory, you gotta take the pain as well. So I will suffer through the next test, as I must. I will take the punishment like a man and focus my thoughts on positive things, like glories past, and try avoid getting too emotionally involved the the game itself. I promise not to shake my head in disbelief as the selectors undoubtedly continue to turn poor Stiaan van Zyl into the test team’s version of Farhaan Behardien – selected for no apparent ability at this level.

If I take the glory, I must also take the shame. It’s part of the deal you sign up for when you become a sports fan.

Which brings me to my final thought, and with this, hopefully comfort.

There have been glories in the past and they surely will come again.

I will drift back to our test series wins in England in 2008 and 2012, and console myself knowing that we can beat them, that we have before and one day for surely will again.

I will also smile knowing that this is, after all, England. The team that invented the batting collapse and just like in football, rugby, and just about everything else that involves kicking, throwing, or hitting a ball, their success will be short-lived. The Australians will for sure see to that.

And that fall from grace will be a pure joy in and of itself. Why that is so, will be the subject of a future post.

GPF